Sentimental Place

Assalammualaikum 🤗

Aku memang sejenis orang sentimental sikit. Suka nau throwback. More on memories that had warm, ease on my mind and peace feelings. Rather than happy or funny memories, my sentimental memories are more toward something warm feelings. When Allah turunkan rasa tenang tu. Allah. Nikmatnya rasa. Itu lah perasaan 'blessed'. 

So, ceritanya aku datang kolej Upm. Tido bilik I (aku use initial on my friend's name) tonight coz esok nak teman dia pegi buat check-up. Kolej bilik sorang ni so cozy dah sekarang. Lantai pun dia dah cat. Nampak more proper. Nampak kemas. Good thing diorang renovate haritu.

Jadi, aku masuk toilet, nak cuci muka and berus gigi sebelum masuk tidur. Aku sangkut la tuala kat ampaian. Tiba² rasa rindu life kolej zaman study. Jemur baju kat ampaian sambil tengok hutan kat belakang kolej ni. Tenang je rasa. Tah laa. Malam pun rasa tenang. Tak fikir apa dah. Rasa rindu melebihi. 

Aku rindu perasaan time tu. Walaupun hevtic dengan class and assignments, tapi waktu laundry adalah terapi sebenarnya. Time jemur baju kau macam ralit je. Fikir. Sejauh-jauhnya. Tenang. 

Sekarang bukan tak tenang. Life kerja is totally different. Duduk bandor lagi. Key el nuhh. Tah la. Jiwa aku memang nature sikit kot. Suka tenung kehijauan dan pemandangan. Duk rumah sewa flat ni tenung phone je la haha. Tenung rumet kang dikata gila pulak hahahaha. 

You know, we can never go back in time. But, we can cherish it always. Grateful to Allah coz He give you good times. Those memories calms you. Then, back to reality. Life kena keep moving on. Those memories is the tool for us to zikr Alhamdulillah whenever teringat actually huhu.

Allahu. Grant us strength Ya Rabb. Dunya is not easy. Please , ease us on good for Akhirah. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Bersangka baik/Husnudzon

Assalamualaikum 

How's ur fasting gaiss? Kebulur kaaa? Sahur dakk? Hehe. Aku just sahur 3 ketul kurma dan se-mug air kosong. Lapar memang lapar tapi tenaga tu ada. Tak lemau. The power of date. Haha. The power of kurma lah.

Aku lepas kerja pukul 10 (biasalah keje beshe2 kat mall ni. Mintak lempang sikit haha) ni kadang2 kena pegi toilet dulu baru boleh balik. Boleh jumpa darah menitik kat toilet. Kalau darah period, why jauh dari mangkuk tandas and tong sampah. So weird mannn. Laju2 aku buat kerja and choww. Dah la takde orang. Nasib bulan puasa kahkah.

Ceritanya sebelum aku nak masuk toilet tu. Aku jalan....then 4 orang lelaki pintas depan aku. Mula2 tu takde rasa apa (orang blur memang macam ni). Lama2 tu aku perasan yang orang tak ramai time tu sebab mall dah tutup. Then, lorong situ agak sunyi. Aku jadi insecure and teragak-agak nak pergi toilet. Should I walk slowly and they go further? Huuuu what should I do... Dengan nature call nye lagi.

Eh, kejap. Ke diorang nak...

Diorang turn kiri iaitu ke arah surau. MasyaAllah. Sejuk hati tengok. Jemaah dulu sebelum balik kerja. Ye la. Dah sampai rumah nanti bole mandi then terus landing je kan.

Terus aku tersenyum dan rasa bersalah disitu kerana fikir yang bukan2. Namun tak salah. Itu langkah berjaga-jaga. Be more cautious of the surrounding.

MasyaAllah. Semoga Allah terus merahmati mereka di bulan Ramadhan ini. A little effort that increases their value. Subhanallah. 

Kisah Ateis masuk islam

https://youtu.be/B6bZixhxZUQ

So, this morning I woke up with mixed feelings. I've decided to feed my souls as Subhanallah I sometimes carried away by this life. His manner is so peaceful and bright. He keep alternating his speech with Zikr. MasyaAllah. I aspire to talk like that. (Practicing)

The only Zikr that I keep alternating is Alhamdulillah when I sneezed and burped when I had full meal  This brother shows us the real akhlak by being so soft, polite and funny at the same time haha. Even we were not born like that, you know when some people are more outgoing and rough haha.. we can train ourselves. Okay, that is one aspect, manner.

The other things I'm amazed is his journey in finding the right religion. He's not shy to share an honest thoughts. It so relatable hahaha. All those imaginary and expectations we want from God haha. Ironically, God already shown everything to us. The next verse he said from the Quran is so deep. I keraiiii. What else do we want? Huhu.

People keep saying, waiting for hidayah and all that. Do you even go out and look for it? Like this guy did. Or are you waiting the hidayah to come while you dancing and drinking? Or when you already fall sick and can't move anymore? It's really a different thing you know.

Are you waiting or searching?

When life hits you hard, what did you do?

Assalammualaikum


When life hits you hard, what did you do?

After solat, literally, I just sit and talk to Allah. Coz I'm so lost. Don't know what to think. I know what I need to do. I just scared. Feel anxious whenever space is there and I carelessly let the thought came in.

Too many expectations around me. Around us.

I can't reach those expectations. I can move with only with my pace. When I met a human that cannot tolerate with my pace, sorry. I'm not a human pleaser. I'm not good with people. Yet they wonder why I'm a cat lover haha.

When I'm good with certain people, they stay in my circle. For a long long time. Lifetime. I take care of them. Keep in touch whenever I can.

Me? Weird? Nahhh, all of us is weird. All of us have a unique side. No one is normal. What is normal anyway?

My life keeps going ups and downs. I don't know what is normal anyway.

Recently, I just did something big. When I thought everything is settled down. No, it's not. I took a big step. For myself. Bukan selalu haha. I think this is the first time I experienced when everything went so wrong day by day. Can u imagine how stress I am? It keeps adding but no one sees it. No one understands. They can listen but they won't know it. Because I know myself. Quite rational. Sometimes. Rational or not, I don't waste my time again on something make me unhappy. I'm done with that a year ago.

I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm not good enough thoughts. I didn't try hard thoughts. Enough. Let Allah show me where I can feel good in being me. Where the place I can say " Good Job Nina. Let's try harder" without any self-blaming. Where the place being me is a good thing.

Coz there this one person said, "It's challenging but its fun".

Okay, let's find that route. That sounds more worth for my time. Nothing is perfect anyway. Find something tolerable to yourself. Tak salah. Don't torture yourself just for money or people sayings. Believe. Allah is the one give rezeki to his slave. Believe,  He's the one will help you. Allah always near you. May this route will make you more sincere in cari rezeki. Bekerja itu satu ibadah. Don't ruin it.

Believe.

Nothing can stop you after this.

:)

Assalammulaikum dearies~

Hi, there are something berlegar in my head right now. Not so serious but yeah. I want to citerrr. Haha

You see, last night me just got back from Kampung. Me and my mom, just two of us. We moved from kampung at night so I'm the one driving. My mom was constantly talking haha. I just listen and listen until it gets to one part that I'm interested into...

Polygamy.

Hahaha.

Another update of my life

Assalammualaikum deariesssss

How you guys have been lately? May everything goes smoothly. InshaAllah 😊

Alhamdulillah, I'm getting a new job in just few weeks away. InshaAllah. It's a new life for me. Another adventure I'm awaiting for. A job in my passion. A passion that developed through my old work. Alhamdulillah sentiasa ada rezeki untuk bidang ini. I've been given another chance to venture in it again. Let's go!💪

Current job is just a job but totally a new environment for me. A girl that always want to stay in her circle je. This time she took a decision to got out and and go out for something else for a while. See a new perspective of life. Out of her comfort zone. She didn't regret it. Definitely met some amazing friends there. Strong people fighting for their life. 😊 They inspired me with their life. Sometimes our life is just another lesson to another people.

For me, dah biasa kerja 8 jam. This 3 months merasa la sakitnya kerja 12 jam huhu. Masuk pagi balik tengah malam. Cuma dulu cuti sehari je. This time dapat la dapat cuti dua hari. Merasa jugak cuti dua hari. Dari ada kerja yang masuk pukul 8.30..masuk pukul 11 pagi. Semua dah merasa. Balik tetap malam jugak. Dulu balik malam sebab banyak kerja supervised kat ladang, second job pulak hadam jem satu jam, this time kerja sampai pukul 10 malam. What a life haha. But, pengalaman mematangkan kita. Making you more careful when making decisions. Timbang tara baik buruk dari ikut kata hati. Upcoming job dapat balik petang Alhamdulillah. Rare tuk dak nina kahkah.

This 3 months I learned to got back up. Learn how to fight for my life again. Learn how to control my thoughts. Learn not to drift away. Learn to get what I want. Learn to it is okay to be not okay but don't forget to got back up again. Learn to love myself again. Learn to forgive myself. Learn to give more love people around me. Learn not to take for granted. Learn to be more tolerance. Learn to be more sincerer. Learn and learnnnnn. It never ends because human is forgetful. Terutamanya anak Encik Sharudin ni. Pelupa nau nau.

I am still far from perfect and nice. But, I'm still learning. I want to be better in my own version. Be the best of myself I can be. Hope Allah keep the strengths and wills in my heart alwayssss and you guys toooo 💚