A moment to reset niat my job as Ibadah

 

Cr: Pinterest

Oh I just realised. Guess I’m coming back here whenever I just feel tired huh haha

After one day long...Hustling struggling with work

My colleague went home. I’m still in shop doing our daily closing routine shop. I performed Maghrib prayer after that. The moment I want to make Duaa I look up and noticed the gloomy ambience. But probably the shop is dark since we turn off the lights haha. 

That moment I feel tired. I talk to Allah,

What all this tiredness is for
Makes my tiredness usefull Ya Allah
Make this feeling worth it even I know this is not a noble path like our frontliners did.
Make my pay worth if it isn’t for me. Make it for someone elses.

Make me utilise my pay in the right way

Make my job as in Ibadah Ya Allah

Accept my ibadah :(

Because in the end, we all just to have a meaningful life. Not in vain. Something worth to live for. Blessed by Him in every aspect we do in life. Still, present time is the most important. We never know.

Yours sincerely,
Tired Nina

Not all bad. Choose where to look.

 Sempat lah kejap aku menaip ketika shift seorang ni. Takde la rasa segan sangat nak menaip kat pc besar gedabak ni hahaha. Aku sebenarnya nak share kisah aku kerja haritu. Haritu boleh dikatakan salah satu hari yang buat aku rasa nak pengsan. 

I'm okay with busy but not okay if I'm all alone and have to deal with loaded customers all by myself. That day memang busy tahap ramai customer terabai. It making me stress and balik tu memang rasa nak nangis dek penat. Tapi tak nangis pun bila dah masuk kereta bukak lagu karaoke kuat2 kahkah. Astaghfirullah 😁 

That day memang start aku open je kedai memang tak henti2 orang order bunga masuk. From 10am until 10pm I worked non stop. Dah 7.30pm baru dapat duduk makan kejap. Usually ada la masa untuk kau goyang kaki sejam dua sat macam sekarang kahkah. Alhamdulillah Allah kosongkan masa aku untuk solat zohor dan asar. Banyak kali aku berbisik, Busy takpe tapi kau senggangkan lah masa aku untuk solat Ya Allah. Turun je dari surau, automatik customer sambung masuk semula tak berhenti. Time macam ni lah kau lebih menghargai waktu lapang. Tiba tiba terniat nak buat amal lebih tapi masa tiada. Nak doa panjang tapi cemas tengok waktu. Tapi bila waktu lapang tu ada, kau buat apaa? Opps. Allah dah cakap, Manusia diuji dengan waktu lapang dan waktu sihat. We always taking things for granted. But, we always can repent and try do the right thing again 😉

That morning I got one super annoying diva customer. Only one but enough to ruin my mood for the whole day. Dia dah la beli promotion item pastu tergamak minta discount lagi. Then, beli non discounted item suka2 hati mintak discount. Hmm, pastu tergamak lagi nak jerit2, "call me your manager". Ini Karen versi Malaysia ni hahahaha. Aku rasa kelakar la. I'm the only one working there. Dia tak nampak ke. Aku dah la tengah stress dengan busynye. Aku ni jenis kering pulak. Memang tak layan customer gini. Dia akur je bayar. Aku memang tak kasi can sikit orang rude ni. Kawan aku jenis boleh layan lagi. Jangan tiru aku gais. Tak penyabor. 

Out of all that customer, my other customers was super nice and peramah to me compared to my usual days of working. They were so nice of waiting and responded nicely. Even ada satu customer ni really treat me like long known friend hahaha. After load her flowers into her car, she sudden ran to me and put her both hand on my shoulder, "awak tau tak tadi duit parking saya tak cukup hahahaha" we both laughing because she so confident that her money cukup untuk bayar parking tadi. Turn out tak cukup. Nasib baik ada duit selit ahahah. Rasa orang duk kedai makan depan tu terkejut kot kemain mengekek makcik dua orang ni. That akak really made my day feel better actually. Thank you Ya Rabb for her. So I decide to forget that sour moment and take a deep breath and start smiling again. Orang lain tak bersalah. Why kita kena terbawa-bawa and orang lain yang kena. I know it's hard tapi think again, that is that. Orang lain tak tau pun apa yang kita alami and don't expect them to understand us. Just let them understand that you are alone and capable of doing this and this only. Let them know the situation. Explain. Talk. Don't focus on the bad sampai tak nampak yang baik2 tadi. Yang buruk2 tu I always let God handle it. 

Moody sorang won't solve the problems. You are alone. Handle it professionally. gittu. Doa. Allah will help you 💚

Dalgona Coffee Viral

Assalammualaikum!

Dengan ini saya mengumumkan keterjebakan saya membuat Dalgona Coffee kahkah.

Lambat serunya sampai. Orang lain dah berlumbo - lumbo dah. Cito eh den dah bosan hari - hari duk repeat Nescafe Ice. So, kita pun belilah fresh milk. Rupo rupo eh ado teknik nak beli fresh milk ni hahah. Kalau cari dalam peti confirm habis. Cari dekat rak confirm ada. Orang tak beli sebab tak sejuk. Padahal rumah ada je peti ais. Takde hal lah kalau beli tak sejuk pun.

Dah beli. Dah sejukkan. Kita pun start laa sesi Dalgona ini. After watching several videos of people making Dalgona. I kinda understand.

So I do it like this;

Two tablespoon of Nescafe
Two and half tablespoon of sugar ( to make it more foam)
Hot water / Air suam. (You need a bit heat to fasten the reaction )

*The water no need banyak. Just cukup cairkan your nescafe and gula. Pastu kacaulah guna sudu or mixer. Like me using egg hand whisk mixer ni. Maleh nak godek2 almari cari mixer haha.

Erm. Jenuh. Hahahaha. Elok la guna mixer. Cepat sikit. Awal tu korang guna tangan pastu nampak dah foamy sikit baru guna mixer. Awal2 tu kalau guna mixer takut sepah je sebab dia air kan. make sure mangkuk nak mix tu besau ler.

Dah nampak increase in volume and the texture is foamy and creamy macam dalam gambar diatas tu dah jadi laaa.

So, ratio of fresh milk and coffee is 2:1.. sebab manis kan. Pastu takut korang heart palpitations nanti haha. dua sudu wehhh. Pastu letak ice, and then kacau kacau.

Dah tu. Minum lerr. 

Tapi when trying things like this, I realized. Baru seronok kalau ada geng nak rasa. Kalau seorang rasa macam, "oh sedap". Kalau dengan geng tu dia macam dapat tengok reaction kawan sekali. Okay sekian. #simptomkuarantin dah sampai. Rindu la tu kat kawan2 haha. 

Okey gais. Stay Home. Stay Safe!

Covid-19

Assalammualaikum...



How's your quarantine life? Mine? Meh... haha. Nothing much. Masih belum terjebak dengan Dalgona Coffee even I'm coffee addict. Termasuk semalam I can't sleep and selalu tidur 4 to 5 am. Aku tutup k phone aku haha. Buku pun dah nak separuh aku baca. Aku bila baca buku dia tak jadi ngantuk. Dia jadi excited. I keep wanting to know more haha. Sudahnya tak tidur pun takpe kalau baca buku.

However, gais..

Lain macam kan pembuka tahun 2020 ni. Who knows. Orang sangka tahun ni akan menjadi semaju - majjunya dengan pelbagai ramalan. Kereta terbang lah haha. Tapi tak sangka. Tahun inilah ancaman ekonomi paling teruk dari tahun yang sebelum sebelum ni. Tak ke seram.

Hanya kerana satu virus yang tidak dapat dilihat dengan mata kasar,

Seram. Tersebar melalui droplet dan boleh bertahan diatas permukaan dalam 8-9 jam. Lama tu. Dalam tempoh tu bayang kita dah jumpa sape. Kita dah salam dengan siapa. Kita dah berlaga pipi dengan makcik makcik. Hulurkan duit dekat cashier di supermarket atau kedai runcit. Pastu pulak cashier tu berurusan dengan orang selepas kita. Orang selepas kita tu pergi ke kedai lain pulak. Tengok tengok baju. Tengok tengok kasut. Beli kat situ pulak. Balik jumpa mak bapak, laki bini, anak-anak huhu.

Well, guys. That is howwww they are spreading.

But, we can prevent by always washing our hands.

Let say, we at outside. After buying groceries, before masuk rumah bukak paip luar rumah basuh tangan dulu. Sebelum handling all the groceries, basuh tangan. Basuh dan basuh. Sanitizer tu guna bila kat luar time takde air. Basuh tangan masih the most effective way to wash away all the viruses.

Oke geng? Stay home. Stay safeeee. Fikir orang yang tersayang. Fikir pulak. Ingatlah orang yang tersayang 😂

Sentimental Place

Assalammualaikum 🤗

Aku memang sejenis orang sentimental sikit. Suka nau throwback. More on memories that had warm, ease on my mind and peace feelings. Rather than happy or funny memories, my sentimental memories are more toward something warm feelings. When Allah turunkan rasa tenang tu. Allah. Nikmatnya rasa. Itu lah perasaan 'blessed'. 

So, ceritanya aku datang kolej Upm. Tido bilik I (aku use initial on my friend's name) tonight coz esok nak teman dia pegi buat check-up. Kolej bilik sorang ni so cozy dah sekarang. Lantai pun dia dah cat. Nampak more proper. Nampak kemas. Good thing diorang renovate haritu.

Jadi, aku masuk toilet, nak cuci muka and berus gigi sebelum masuk tidur. Aku sangkut la tuala kat ampaian. Tiba² rasa rindu life kolej zaman study. Jemur baju kat ampaian sambil tengok hutan kat belakang kolej ni. Tenang je rasa. Tah laa. Malam pun rasa tenang. Tak fikir apa dah. Rasa rindu melebihi. 

Aku rindu perasaan time tu. Walaupun hevtic dengan class and assignments, tapi waktu laundry adalah terapi sebenarnya. Time jemur baju kau macam ralit je. Fikir. Sejauh-jauhnya. Tenang. 

Sekarang bukan tak tenang. Life kerja is totally different. Duduk bandor lagi. Key el nuhh. Tah la. Jiwa aku memang nature sikit kot. Suka tenung kehijauan dan pemandangan. Duk rumah sewa flat ni tenung phone je la haha. Tenung rumet kang dikata gila pulak hahahaha. 

You know, we can never go back in time. But, we can cherish it always. Grateful to Allah coz He give you good times. Those memories calms you. Then, back to reality. Life kena keep moving on. Those memories is the tool for us to zikr Alhamdulillah whenever teringat actually huhu.

Allahu. Grant us strength Ya Rabb. Dunya is not easy. Please , ease us on good for Akhirah. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin.

Bersangka baik/Husnudzon

Assalamualaikum 

How's ur fasting gaiss? Kebulur kaaa? Sahur dakk? Hehe. Aku just sahur 3 ketul kurma dan se-mug air kosong. Lapar memang lapar tapi tenaga tu ada. Tak lemau. The power of date. Haha. The power of kurma lah.

Aku lepas kerja pukul 10 (biasalah keje beshe2 kat mall ni. Mintak lempang sikit haha) ni kadang2 kena pegi toilet dulu baru boleh balik. Boleh jumpa darah menitik kat toilet. Kalau darah period, why jauh dari mangkuk tandas and tong sampah. So weird mannn. Laju2 aku buat kerja and choww. Dah la takde orang. Nasib bulan puasa kahkah.

Ceritanya sebelum aku nak masuk toilet tu. Aku jalan....then 4 orang lelaki pintas depan aku. Mula2 tu takde rasa apa (orang blur memang macam ni). Lama2 tu aku perasan yang orang tak ramai time tu sebab mall dah tutup. Then, lorong situ agak sunyi. Aku jadi insecure and teragak-agak nak pergi toilet. Should I walk slowly and they go further? Huuuu what should I do... Dengan nature call nye lagi.

Eh, kejap. Ke diorang nak...

Diorang turn kiri iaitu ke arah surau. MasyaAllah. Sejuk hati tengok. Jemaah dulu sebelum balik kerja. Ye la. Dah sampai rumah nanti bole mandi then terus landing je kan.

Terus aku tersenyum dan rasa bersalah disitu kerana fikir yang bukan2. Namun tak salah. Itu langkah berjaga-jaga. Be more cautious of the surrounding.

MasyaAllah. Semoga Allah terus merahmati mereka di bulan Ramadhan ini. A little effort that increases their value. Subhanallah. 

Kisah Ateis masuk islam

https://youtu.be/B6bZixhxZUQ

So, this morning I woke up with mixed feelings. I've decided to feed my souls as Subhanallah I sometimes carried away by this life. His manner is so peaceful and bright. He keep alternating his speech with Zikr. MasyaAllah. I aspire to talk like that. (Practicing)

The only Zikr that I keep alternating is Alhamdulillah when I sneezed and burped when I had full meal  This brother shows us the real akhlak by being so soft, polite and funny at the same time haha. Even we were not born like that, you know when some people are more outgoing and rough haha.. we can train ourselves. Okay, that is one aspect, manner.

The other things I'm amazed is his journey in finding the right religion. He's not shy to share an honest thoughts. It so relatable hahaha. All those imaginary and expectations we want from God haha. Ironically, God already shown everything to us. The next verse he said from the Quran is so deep. I keraiiii. What else do we want? Huhu.

People keep saying, waiting for hidayah and all that. Do you even go out and look for it? Like this guy did. Or are you waiting the hidayah to come while you dancing and drinking? Or when you already fall sick and can't move anymore? It's really a different thing you know.

Are you waiting or searching?

When life hits you hard, what did you do?

Assalammualaikum


When life hits you hard, what did you do?

After solat, literally, I just sit and talk to Allah. Coz I'm so lost. Don't know what to think. I know what I need to do. I just scared. Feel anxious whenever space is there and I carelessly let the thought came in.

Too many expectations around me. Around us.

I can't reach those expectations. I can move with only with my pace. When I met a human that cannot tolerate with my pace, sorry. I'm not a human pleaser. I'm not good with people. Yet they wonder why I'm a cat lover haha.

When I'm good with certain people, they stay in my circle. For a long long time. Lifetime. I take care of them. Keep in touch whenever I can.

Me? Weird? Nahhh, all of us is weird. All of us have a unique side. No one is normal. What is normal anyway?

My life keeps going ups and downs. I don't know what is normal anyway.

Recently, I just did something big. When I thought everything is settled down. No, it's not. I took a big step. For myself. Bukan selalu haha. I think this is the first time I experienced when everything went so wrong day by day. Can u imagine how stress I am? It keeps adding but no one sees it. No one understands. They can listen but they won't know it. Because I know myself. Quite rational. Sometimes. Rational or not, I don't waste my time again on something make me unhappy. I'm done with that a year ago.

I'm tired of blaming myself. I'm not good enough thoughts. I didn't try hard thoughts. Enough. Let Allah show me where I can feel good in being me. Where the place I can say " Good Job Nina. Let's try harder" without any self-blaming. Where the place being me is a good thing.

Coz there this one person said, "It's challenging but its fun".

Okay, let's find that route. That sounds more worth for my time. Nothing is perfect anyway. Find something tolerable to yourself. Tak salah. Don't torture yourself just for money or people sayings. Believe. Allah is the one give rezeki to his slave. Believe,  He's the one will help you. Allah always near you. May this route will make you more sincere in cari rezeki. Bekerja itu satu ibadah. Don't ruin it.

Believe.

Nothing can stop you after this.

:)

Assalammulaikum dearies~

Hi, there are something berlegar in my head right now. Not so serious but yeah. I want to citerrr. Haha

You see, last night me just got back from Kampung. Me and my mom, just two of us. We moved from kampung at night so I'm the one driving. My mom was constantly talking haha. I just listen and listen until it gets to one part that I'm interested into...

Polygamy.

Hahaha.

Another update of my life

Assalammualaikum deariesssss

How you guys have been lately? May everything goes smoothly. InshaAllah 😊

Alhamdulillah, I'm getting a new job in just few weeks away. InshaAllah. It's a new life for me. Another adventure I'm awaiting for. A job in my passion. A passion that developed through my old work. Alhamdulillah sentiasa ada rezeki untuk bidang ini. I've been given another chance to venture in it again. Let's go!💪

Current job is just a job but totally a new environment for me. A girl that always want to stay in her circle je. This time she took a decision to got out and and go out for something else for a while. See a new perspective of life. Out of her comfort zone. She didn't regret it. Definitely met some amazing friends there. Strong people fighting for their life. 😊 They inspired me with their life. Sometimes our life is just another lesson to another people.

For me, dah biasa kerja 8 jam. This 3 months merasa la sakitnya kerja 12 jam huhu. Masuk pagi balik tengah malam. Cuma dulu cuti sehari je. This time dapat la dapat cuti dua hari. Merasa jugak cuti dua hari. Dari ada kerja yang masuk pukul 8.30..masuk pukul 11 pagi. Semua dah merasa. Balik tetap malam jugak. Dulu balik malam sebab banyak kerja supervised kat ladang, second job pulak hadam jem satu jam, this time kerja sampai pukul 10 malam. What a life haha. But, pengalaman mematangkan kita. Making you more careful when making decisions. Timbang tara baik buruk dari ikut kata hati. Upcoming job dapat balik petang Alhamdulillah. Rare tuk dak nina kahkah.

This 3 months I learned to got back up. Learn how to fight for my life again. Learn how to control my thoughts. Learn not to drift away. Learn to get what I want. Learn to it is okay to be not okay but don't forget to got back up again. Learn to love myself again. Learn to forgive myself. Learn to give more love people around me. Learn not to take for granted. Learn to be more tolerance. Learn to be more sincerer. Learn and learnnnnn. It never ends because human is forgetful. Terutamanya anak Encik Sharudin ni. Pelupa nau nau.

I am still far from perfect and nice. But, I'm still learning. I want to be better in my own version. Be the best of myself I can be. Hope Allah keep the strengths and wills in my heart alwayssss and you guys toooo 💚

Rephrasing Our Words

Assalammualaikum, dearies 😀

Baiklah sebelum ditelang (haa kau sejak bila jadi orang ganu ni) kesibukan dunia , baik kita type apa yang patut dulu disini.

Busy kah korang? Sure busy kan. Busy mencari rezeki. ye dok. Teruskan usaha guys. Jangan putus asa. Always bangkit semula 😊

Lately ni, bila aku down, aku try rephrase ayat aku. Memang blurted out negative things la bila tengah down. But, I teach myself not to say those things anymore. Say nice thing. Believe in good things. Bukan nak tabur harapan palsu just to pujuk diri. Tapi, bila kau down and you say those negative things, adakah kau akan ada semangat lepas tu? Tak kan. Aku berasa rugi untuk terus dalam kesedihan and mengenang nasib diri selepas terbaca makna surah Al- Asr. Someone share it on twitter. "Demi Masa. Sesungguhnya manusia dalam kerugian." ayat tu cukup untuk aku tersedar. Wake up and work on something. Time is running out.

Automatic bila you say good things, you restore your semangat balik. Idea untuk bangkit semula datang. Allah tolong sebab kita berniat nak bangkit. Allah tolong sebab kita ada usaha untuk merubah nasib kita. Remember, when you in positive thinking, good things come to you. You choose to look at good things. The choices in our hand. What past is past. Just take lessons from it. 

Ye, memang tak mudah. It was never easy to do good. Even Mufti Menk pun ada cakap,

Remember that kindness is a strength. It’s not easy being kind, especially to those who are rude to you. On the other hand, being rude is easy. But it shows a sign of weakness. So choose to be strong and choose to leave a trail of kindness and goodness wherever you go!

— Mufti Ismail Menk (@muftimenk) November 7, 2018

Yeah, he meant other kindness. . But, be kind to yourself is one of the kindness too and those things pun need strength tau. In general, he said that to do good need strength and to be bad is easy. It is so easy just to give up and let your life messed up. So choose to be strong and get back up. 

And...

This is repetitive action. Always remind yourself. Ups and Downs. Always pray we in His path. Ameen.

There are also this one person always taught me to think positive. Don't give up. I think this person also one of my strength. I thanked Allah for sending this person to me in times like this 💕 

Teehee. That's all guys. Till next post! 🙆

A year skipped

Assalammualaikum, dearies!

I'm back here. I didn't thought that one year I haven't update anything here. Sayang deh. But actually I have one more blog. That is a secret la. Just random deep thought kat situ. Hope no one found it haha. Situ pun dah lama tak update.

Why I comeback here when this is not a thing now?

I feel more comfortable to membebel panjang here. People will come for dengar kita membebel. With that tujuan. If in other place like Instagram for example, my followers might be rimas 😂 Some in the mood to read, some might not. Sure, they can ignore but I don't want to give options. Just enjoy the picture instead. Instagram is for 'the picture says it all' kan. I keep it simple that way.

Plus, there is always inside me that I want to share through my writings. Maybe tak sehebat orang lain sampai menulis buku or novel. Just tiny everyday little things that buat muhasabah diri. I want to share and some values. People often share big sensation things. Lemme share the small things hehe. Often we missed that part thou. huhu. 

Ok, that's all guys. Till another post! 💕

Pemasuan semula Orkid / Repotting Orchids

Harini praktikkan ilmu repotting orchid yang belajar kat tempat intern, Pusat Teknologi Florikultur (PTFH),Jabatan Pertanian Serdang.

This going to take months or maybe years, usually Orchid lovers are very patience. Sebab tu some of the orchids are so expensive tapi yang ni species murah² punya haha.

I'm not yet qualified to be called as an Orchid lovers but I do love their magnificent and beautiful flowers. Lebih-lebih lagi, baru terjumpa mini dendrobium (sejenis orkid). Even pokok dia kecil lagi dah boleh berbunga. Sangat comel. Haritu macam nak beli kat Floria tapi tah kenapa tak terbukak hati nak beli dengan penjual tu. Dah orang jual tu macam tak nak layan je hahaha. Eh, sesi luahan hati pulak kan haha. Takpe, I can buy somewhere else.

Rasa lucu sebab arang dan sabut kelapa memang dari dulu lagi dah beli sebab nak transfer orkid beli time MAHA. Time tu memang buta orkid lagi. Tau barang apa nak guna tapi cara-cara nak guna tu memang noob lagi lah hahaha. Sedap sesuka rasa ajinomoto ngan angah je lah taruk. So bila buat tadi and tengok balik apa yang aku buat ngan angah dulu rasa nak tergelak pun ada. So, bila dah ber-praktikal ni, ilmu pun dah dapat so betulkan balik apa yang patut hahah. Pentingnya praktikal berbanding teori. Repotting orkid tu memang pernah buat time kelas dulu tapi you know...when there is too many students in the class, it made me so hard to focus, ingat dan faham time tu je lah. Mana ingat sangat lepas² tu. Bila cakap pasal ni, now I remember that I've learned this in one of the class lol.

Bahan-bahan pemasuan semula orkid:
1. Arang
2. Batu Bata (the reddish orange one sebab diperbuat dari clay)
3. Orkid (semestinya lah haha)
4. Sabut kelapa ( if takda bata)


Cara-cara pemasuan semula orkid ada dua.

Cara yang pertama,
1. Make sure pasu yang berlubang di bawah, agak banyak pun okay. Orkid tak sesuai sangat terlalu lambat, eh silap lembap! dan takut air bertakung je. Not good for the roots.

2. Letak bata merah (brick) oh make sure pecahkan dulu bricks tu. Mana la muat segi empat tu dalam pasu haha. Ye dokk. Simple je. Kepitkan je anak pokok orkid tu dengan bata and make sure tak bergoyang dan teguh sepitan tersebut haha. Sebab akar orkid nak kena establish dulu bagi dia melekat dengan pasu tu. Jadi if goyang² takut akar dia berhenti dan terganggu proses establishment akar orkid. Tak perlu banyak pun bata kalau pandai teknik menyelit dah kepit itu.

3. Next, letak sedikit arang. Pun tak perlu banyak. Sekadar menutupi sedikit akar. Bukan lah sampai penuh pasu. Jimat2 lah barang haha.

Ok, faham? Simple je kan.


Cara yang kedua,
1. Letak arang dulu,tutup gitu² lubang pasu.

2. Letak anak pokok, pegang bagi tegak berdiri.

3. Letak sabut kelapa. Tak perlu banyak yang ni sebab kita nak buat layer of arang and sabut.

4. Letak sedikit arang.

5. Pastu, letak sabut kepala sekali lagi atas eh. Yang ni sampai penuh pasu pun tak pe sebab sabut kan dia gebu gitu kan haha. Asal pokok tu tegak la.

Pun simple kan? Hehe.


Ok, boleh cuba.

Cat's nanny

So past few days, Along and family balik Kelantan memandangkan diorang pun dah lama tak balik Kelantan. I thought nak menumpang bilik Shasha lah kan..but then, Along pesan:

"Dik, kau kena tidur cyber tau. Jaga Andy and Peanut (kucing-kucing Along)"

Err...okayy haha.
*tukar career*
Jadi nanny kucing! hahaha


Okaylah tak kisah pun.
Sabtu tu Along gerak then for the whole day aku macam lost. Mood takde. I'm like, asal weh rumah ni senyap sangat....aku dah terbiasa dengan suara high-pitched keempat-empat askar kecik itu. Serious. Aku tidur...makan..solat...tidur....All day aku fikir, "kenapa ngan aku ni......" sampai terbangun 4 pagi terpikir, " Ya Allah!! Andy ngn Peanut tak makan lagi!"

You know what? Pukul 4 pagi tu lah aku bangun, prepare makanan diorang..(cian makhluk berbulu dua ekor ni) then, sambung tidur balik lol.

Esok pagi bangun, dah dapat semangat sikit. Baru ada mood nak buat housechores. Nak citer kat sini melayan perangai cerewet makan si Peanut sampai sikit2 aku wassap along tanya macam mana nak prepare makanan dia. Baru tau perasaaan along melayan si cerewet Peanut haha. Tapi seronok melayan perangai dia sebab rare jumpa kucing macam ni. Patut la kuruih. Sekarang usaha kami menggemukkan dia sekadar yang boleh. Kita boleh! ( Herm, dah lama tak dengar ayat tu kan?)

Then, boleh pulak pagi Isnin aku nak pergi kerja panggil Peanut makan. Dia tak datang. Biasanya lah dia paling jaguh gagah berlari dari arah mana pun. Memandangkan aku dah lambat dan kalut pagi tu, aku pergi je la kerja. Mungkin dia masih tidur. Herm, itu rare. Bila balik petang tu tengok makanan Peanut tak bersentuh, "Ah sudah". Memang cuak. Takkan jatuh bawah kot memandangkan rumah along tingkat satu and kucing suka bersadai ke tepi tingkap. Tak sangka ada jugak kucing cemerkap haha. Biasanya Andy gemuk yang selalu jatuh hahaha.

Then, malam tu aku tidur kejap sebab ngantuk sangat dek penat kerja. Tiba-tiba nampak Andy tinjau bawah kat balkoni. Sebenarnya aku takut Andy terjun jugak. Manalah tau Andy dah bosan gila takde geng jadi dia pun nak ikut jejak langkah Peanut ke. Aku pun panggil, "Andyyyy kang jatuh kang macam Peanut" Aku pun ikut la jenguk bawah. Rupanya Peanut ada kat bawah tengah duduk. I wonder if Peanut just sit like that aaaalll daaay looongg. Kesian dia. Bawak masuk rumah terus carik makanan. Mau taknya dari pagi kut jatuh. Andy nampak terus lari kat Peanut, hidu2 dia. Aulooo rindu Peanut leww tuwww. Andy kalau takde Peanut mula dia jadikan aku sebagai sasaran untuk dikejar dan digigit. Nasib baik Peanut kembali. Huwaaaa. hahaha.

Andy pulak manja semacam ngan aku. Tak boleh kena tinggal sorang! eh silap. Sekor! haha. Japgi dia mengiau kuat gila sama ada cari Peanut or aku. Pastu duduk tidur, jauh. Tak faham aku. Agaknya sekadar dalam radar pandangan dia haha. Pastu suka intai kita kat mana. Ikut je la ke mana aku nak pegi. Masuk toilet pun nak ikut jugak. Paling aku takleh bela hahahaha. Dah la tak tahan nak terkucil, nak halang dia masuk lagi la..awkward tau dok, Andy?! Soba yo lahh..(sabar je la). Selama aku duk sini aku jarang dapat belek dia..yelah, kids suka duk kerumun dia hahaha. Mau tak nya, gebu pastu gemuk pulak tu kan. Kalau kita hulur muka kat dia, mesti dia sambut cium dengan hidung pink dia tu. Aduhaiiii comel bangat.

Macam2 hal jaga kucing seminggu ni. Lucu jugak hewhew. Sis terhibur. 

Thing's changed

Semalam mak singgah tolong hantarkan sinchan (kancil) ke cyber.

Phew~

Settle.

Aku tak tau abang aku drive macam mana sinchan. I feel alot differences masa aku pakai dulu. Clutch, gear, door lock..everything berubah. Ganas betul pakai. Dah la kete tu antik bebenor. K, kutuk abang aku kat sini hahahaha.

However, aku rimas orang asyik dim lampu kat aku. Aku tau lampu belakang tu tak berfungsi. Going to take some time nak repair sebab dengan keje lagi. Bila drive malam and driver belakang main lampu, I'm like, "yeah yeah..I knowww....." Thanks for caring hehe.

Aku terasa daif bila drive kereta yang banyak serba kurangnya. Rasa bersalah kat kengkawan yang menumpang. Tapi hey, kita kena bersyukur sekurang-kurangnya ada kenderaan untuk bergerak ke sana ke mari.

Apapun, sama2 berdoa urusan kita semua dipermudahkan.

Oh ye, haritu Janah ada request nak singgah kubur dia ayah kejap. Jadi aku bawak la dia ke sana. Turun je kereta. Aku rasa sebak. Kubur ayah orang dah dijejak. Kubur ayah sendiri masih belum sempat berjenguk. Biasa balik Sepang mesti dah nak malam. Namun, doa untuk abah tak pernah terputus. Alfatihah.

Mereput

boring.

rasa macam nak contact sorang kawan2 tanya apa diorang buat.
rasa macam nak menyibuk diorang pegi mana harini.

that kind of curiosity.

kerja tu ada tapi tu lah.
moodnya tak ada.

rasa macam nak pergi keluar rumah go to somewhere else.
tapi..
abang ipar baru bagitau pagi tadi that kereta is very in serious condition.
So I'm stuck here.

No vehicles.
My friends..all busy.

Mereputla kau.
Pegi buat keje.

Tawar la...

Aku dah penat menangis. Lebih teruk dari hal ini. Lebih dalam sakitnya. Sampai satu saat aku jadi tawar hati untuk fikir lagi hal ini. Tawar hati adalah simbol kekuatan atau putus asa?

Doshio...

What am I going to do?

Everyone is chasing their dream. Here I am. Sit in this room thinking what I should do next. At some point, I know what to do. But, then I'm lost again.

Dream.

I know I have it in me. It so blurry. I asked myself countless time. What am I going to do next? Again and again.

Yet, the answer is in me. God knows what inside me that I don't see. Each one of us made for a purpose and has their own strength to live upon to. Oh Allah, guide us! We're so weak that we need You in every our step T.T

Redha Tuhan

Aku tak tau nak rasa apa. Awalnya aku berlembut hati tapi bila terjadinya 'plot twist' disaat akhir. Aku kembali keliru. Aku tahu dia ingin bahagia tapi kebahagiaan itu milik bersama. Andai kata satu saat nikmat bahagia yang dikecapi bertukar bencana. Turut terkesan ke aku. Aku sayangkan dia. Aku tak mahu lihat dia berduka. Lagi.

Ya Allah.
Apapun keputusan dia, kau berkati lah.

Ingat, mahukan sesuatu ada caranya. Caranya biar lah baik dimata kita dan Tuhan. Bukan ikut kehendak sendiri mahupun alasan yang 'baik'. Jangan guna alasan. Penghujungnya, kebenarannya sentiasa jelas. Allah Maha Melihat. Allah beritahu pada mangsa penipuan. Disitulah pentingnya hubungan kita sesama Tuhan. Allah bantu kita. Allah pun tak sanggup melihat hamba-Nya ditipu hidup2.

Kita boleh bercakap apa saja demi mencapai apa yang kita mahu sampai mengaburi kelemahan yang ada. Dek mahukan sesuatu sampai hilang logik akal. Dek mahukan sesuatu. Kita lupa. Redha Allah itu penting. Allah pandang cara dan usaha. Bukannya semata pada hasil.

Redha dan keberkatan dari Allah itu lah kunci kebahagiaan hidup kita.

Aku juga faham. Ralat dan terkilan itu suatu perasaan yang begitu sakit dan ngilu dalam hati kita. Dalamnya ia boleh membuat jadi diri 'depressed'. Maafkan diri sendiri. Jalan terbaik. Semua manusia khilaf. Yang penting, maafkan diri dan mohon pengampunan dari Yang Maha Pengampun dosa hamba-Nya. Masa lalu itu yang lalu dulu. Dikenang memori pahit, sakit. Apapun, ambil pengajaran. Jangan biar ia berlalu dengan sia-sia. Ambil pengajaran dan perbaiki diri. Maka tidak sia-sia lah pahit tangisan yang ditanggung selama ini.

Nota penting untuk insan yang menggelar dirinya 'aku' juga.

Welcome 2016, Bye 2015

Alhamdulillah. We reached another year in Allah's earth. Two thousand sixteen. I've survived 2015 lol. Macam la masuk hunger game.

Tu maksudnya aku dah masuk umur 23 lah kan secara un-officially. Itu bermakna jugak sebelah kaki sudah melangkah ke alam pekerjaan. Tapi dilemma sebagai pelajar berterusan sehingga ke detik-detik tahun terakhir. Ada la kawan ajak sambung belajar. Ada la jugak mengadu dekat along and angah, "malasnya nak sambung....." but then along cakap, "elok sangat la kalau sambung belajar. ekonomi sekarang lebih baik cari tajaan dan sambung belajar" herm. nak mengadu tapi respond lain lak dapat. sakitnya tuh disituhh hahaha. Betul. Memang betul pun. Ekonomi sekarang lain macam. Whatever my sisters adviced me mesti deep..rolling in the deep haha.

Sebenarnya bukannya malas. (cehh ayat nak cover) Seriously, bukan malas tapi word 'malas' tu sebenarnya desribe yang I want to do something else. Maybe I'mma bit excited untuk bekerja haha. I love my study field. I really grateful for taking this course and I want to apply the theory that I've been learned all this years. Itu je sebenarnya. Nanti kita tengok saja lah guaner praktikal. Dah la prac dekat, Jabatan pertanian je. This one is other thing, dulu punya la berkobar nak cari swasta. Cari punya cari but then kena reject. Ada tempat yang best pun diorang tak offer service dari student LI. So, disebabkan kesuntukan masa and ke-buzy-an membuat thesis, me and my friends decide kat JP tu. 

It all started when we have class field trip there. All along the way we go there we saw lot of nurseries with beautiful and colourful flowers. Terus terbuka hati nak LI kat situ even though takde elaun T_T Dengan itu, saya mengharapkan ilmu yang saya timba disitu berbaloi demi mengorbankan elaun yang diimpikan oleh setiap penuntut universiti leuls. Tanya senior pun dia kata best. Cuma sayang jugak tempoh prac tak sempat dengan event MAHA. Kalau tak mesti dapat terlibat sekali. InsyaAllah terlibat dengan FLORIA. K, nampak tak excited disitu? Belum pape lagi dah pikir sume tu. 

Berita penerimaan kami kat tempat JP ni pun baru terima few days ago. Itu pun kawan bagitau. Diorang rajin bukak fb. While me, once in a blue moon jeh haha. Sangat tak kuasa menunggu fb loading. Lagi-lagi with slow internet connection  herm. Jadi, rasa bersyukur sebab diterima. Puas tunggu. Dah la call tak berangkat. Kiteorang clueless dah nak buat apa. Last resort memang nak shoot ke HQ terus tapi last2 diterima. Alhamdulillah. 

So, this story is one of the 2016 upcoming stories. 6 month I'll be working there. Rabbi yassir walatuassir, Rabbi tammil bil khair. Let's get through this!